When you're stuck in the "middle place"

 You knew the change was necessary, and beneficial. You did your homework. You signed the paperwork. Yet in this moment, it's hard to know which end is up. Where's your stuff? Where's the comfortable routine? Where are the processes that you knew so completely that you could do them in your sleep? This is all part of change, but it's a pain when you're stuck in the "middle place".

Step outside - literally - your current situation and you might spot a flutter of wings in the garden. We marvel at the butterfly in all of its beauty. We are amazed at the process that transforms the fuzzy striped caterpillar into a flower that flies. Yet sometimes we forget the process that happens in the chrysalis. Inside that cocoon is a breaking down of the caterpillar before the butterfly can be formed. The caterpillar is mush - but only temporarily.

Of course humans don't turn to mush in a physical sense. But there is a natural and predictable grieving process that goes along with change. Letting go isn't always easy. And that's followed by a feeling of disorientation, when you know what you're no longer going to do, but have not yet found your new and better path. Grief and disorientation and blaming others are characteristic feelings and behaviors of the middle place.

The way through

Not all changes are  equally difficult. In general the longer you have been in your groove, the more difficult it is to change. There are also variations among people, where some relish the new, different, and exciting, while others dread traveling unfamiliar roads. Some people around you might not seem to be thrown by change, yet others will fight it for a long time, hoping that their strong commitment to the past will make it all go away, or wear you down.

Remember when you opened a new electronic device, and an envelope on the top read "Open This First"? There is where you started - with first things first. In your middle place, what needs to come first? Do that. What helps you ground yourself? Do that. There may be countless boxes piled all around you, but if you can find your coffee and your favorite mug, you can persevere through the rest. Said differently, focus on priorities and persistent self-care will get you through.

 One more thing - remind yourself why you decided to do this in the first place. Yes, you did the homework, the numbers, and assessed the risks. It is easy to lose sight of the reasons why when your emotions take over and you're in the middle place. The caterpillar doesn't emerge instantly - its transformation takes time. So does yours, no matter how motivated you are. There is a middle place, you will dwell in it for a while, then you will emerge on the other side and spread your wings.